wooing

How not to woo

Looking for the perfect romantic gesture to impress that special someone? You certainly won’t find any good ideas here, in the antiguide to wooing: what not to do.

Don’t run out of air

Hu Seng started out with the right idea – he thought he’d surprise his girlfriend at her office with a gift. But instead of flowers or jewelry, he thought he’d post… himself. In a box.

Hu reckoned the mail service would only take 30 minutes to deliver him safe and sound into his girlfriend’s loving arms, however the box he’d packaged himself into got lost in transit.

Poor Hu was trapped inside for over three hours as he was transferred from post office to post office. He tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick, and started to run out of air.

Hu didn’t want to ruin the surprise by shouting for help, so he just… passed out. When his special lady finally received her unconscious boyfriend in the mail, the result was less a moment of romance and more a medical emergency.

Don’t try and KILL THE PRESIDENT

In an example that could have fitted nicely into our antiguide to assassination, John Hinckley Jnr tried to win over actress Jodie Foster by attempting to, er, kill President Ronald Regan.

He shot and wounded Regan and three of his entourage, the act part of some bizarre fantasy where Hinckley saw himself as Travis Bickle, the lead character in the classic movie Taxi Driver.

In the film, Bickle attempts to protect a 12 year old prostitute (played by Jodie Foster) and tries to assassinate a US Senator running for the top job.

Hinckley followed Jodie Foster around the country in the years after Taxi Driver and even joined her university only to find she wasn’t quite as interested in him.

So, he asked himself: “What would Bickle do?” and apparently the answer was to shoot the president, and did he ever, not to mention also wounding three of the president’s staff.

Even after such a touching romantic gesture, Jodie Foster still wasn’t impressed, and Hinckley has had to settle for whatever action he can get in jail.

Don’t make a fool of yourself

After watching one too many Hollwood romcoms, U.K soldier James Miller thought it would be romantic to declare his love for a girl in public at a soccer match, and did so by stripping down to his boxers, jumping onto the field and shooting roses from an arrow, Cupid-style.

He was promptly tackled by security, arrested, fined $300, banned from soccer games for the next three years, and warned by his superiors in the military that he might have to face a court martial.

On top of all that, the girl was so embarrassed by the whole incident she never saw him again.

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What Others Are Saying

  1. Thomas Cotterill October 4, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Gosh, Max, your wooers make my love life look good. I thought that was impossible!

    • Max October 9, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      Exactly what I thought when researching these examples!

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